Family Fund Blog: Relationships

I have the privilege of writing the occasional post for the wonderful Family Fund Blog. Each month, the blogging team are given a simple theme. We are free to develop the theme in any way we wish, creating a unique perspective on life with a special-needs child.

This month, the Family Fund Blog theme is relationships. When you have a child with autism, relationships with others can be tricky. For example, parents of an autistic child may find themselves under a great deal of stress on a daily basis. So much of their focus is on their child, that it can leave little room for their relationship with one another.

Likewise, friendships can be difficult to maintain. It can be hard to find the time to meet up with friends, as our schedules can be pretty hectic. It can also be hard to find friends that “get it,” unless they have autistic children of their own. The strength of a friendship can be measured by the ability of someone to stick with you through the good times and the bad.


At this point I want to mention some of the lovely people who help to keep me sane on a day to day basis. First of all I have to mention my husband. We’ve been married over 20 years and although our life is anything but normal, we find a good sense of humour really helps! The ability to laugh at everyday situations definitely makes challenges easier to cope with. We also find it important to try and make time for ourselves, even if it’s the odd evening out as a couple.

I have an amazing network of “autism mum friends” who I adore. It’s so good to have people that understand you and who have had similar experiences with their own children. One friend recently bought me a beautiful bunch of flowers to cheer me up when I was feeling low. Such a simple gesture had a powerful effect on me emotionally. True friends are like diamonds.

I also have very supportive parents and the best mother in law in the world. They have been so kind offering practical help as well as emotional support. I sometimes think they deserve a medal for putting up with my moans and groans!

Autism parents mustn’t isolate themselves. It’s so important to have supportive relationships. So remember to say a big thank you to all of the people in your life who are closest to you. Remember to let them know how much they mean to you and never be afraid to tell them that you love them.

Many thanks to Family Fund Blog for providing the theme for this post.

Sensory Processing Disorder: Sensitivity to Touch

In this final part of my series on sensory processing disorder, I will be focusing on sensitivity to touch. This is also known as tactile defensiveness. Every day we are exposed to different textures and temperatures. Problems with the way that the brain processes touch can cause an autistic child to become overwhelmed.

Sense of Touch: Overview

Our sense of touch is controlled by our somatosensory system. This is a network of nerve endings and receptors in our skin. We experience a variety of sensations through touch, including temperature, pressure, texture, vibration and pain.

Because autistic children can experience sensitivity to touch, they may exhibit sensory seeking or avoidant behaviours to compensate.

Sensory Avoiding Behaviours: Tactile

An autistic child may not like to be touched or hugged. It may feel physically unpleasant for them. This may be hard for parents to cope with, as it is natural to want to hug your child.

They may also have an extreme reaction to pain. A slight bruise or cut could cause a huge meltdown that seems out of proportion to the injury itself.

Oversensitivity to fabrics can cause huge problems in everyday life, especially if the child is expected to wear certain clothing for school. Labels and hems can feel itchy and uncomfortable against the skin. A child may also feel hot and refuse to wear a jumper or coat even in cold weather. Some children prefer to wear minimal clothing at home.

Sensory Seeking Tactile Behaviours

Sensory seekers love the feel of different textures on the skin. Their sense of touch can be a powerful learning tool, as they enjoy being “hands on” in their work and play. Parents and caregivers can create a sensory bin for the child to explore. This could be a simple box containing things like rice, sand, dry pasta shapes or play dough for messy play.

Autistic children often enjoy the sense of deep pressure, which can be very calming. This can be achieved using special equipment like weighted blankets. A weighted blanket gives the sensation of being hugged and held. This can help a child to relax and sleep at night.

A sensory seeker may have a high pain threshold and might not even notice that they are injured. It is important that caregivers help them to understand the signs of an injury so that they can seek medical help if needed.

Helping Children with Sensitivity to Touch

There are many ways to offer help to a child with tactile defensive behaviour. A sensory seeking child may enjoy having a “fidget toy” to carry with them when they go out. This will satisfy their need for tactile stimulation and potentially prevent meltdowns.

As I mentioned earlier in the article, special equipment like weighted blankets and sensory toys can be useful tools for autistic children. Likewise there are also specialist clothing stores that sell “sensory friendly” clothes. This could include school uniform made from soft fabric, or clothing without scratchy hems. Parents can also remove any scratchy labels from clothing to make it comfortable. Autistic children may also like soft towels or bedding.

When it comes to hugs or displays of affection, parents need to discuss boundaries with their child. Maybe they could agree on an expression of affection that the child feels happy with. Parents can also warn school staff, friends and family members that the child has sensitivity to touch. It is also important to help the child if they are in a situation where they need to be touched. For example if they need to go to the doctor, parents could explain what will happen before they go.

Conclusion:

I hope you have enjoyed my series on sensory processing disorder. If you haven’t read the other articles in the series, please feel free to explore my posts on visual, hearing, taste and smell sensitivity.